Just Slip Out the Front Door
It's tempting to sneak away, but I've found it's better to face the tears head-on. Start with a brief explanation. Say something like, "I'm going to the store. I'll be back after your nap." Then, give a quick hug and leave. Drawn-out goodbyes usually lead to more wailing.
The Basics of Separation Anxiety
We all know toddlers aren't fans of us leaving, but the main reason is they haven't quite grasped the concept of time (plus, they believe you're their personal servant). Most toddlers fear that when you leave, you might not return. It’s a developmental phase that usually peaks around 18 months to 3 years.
Practical Steps to Try
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Practice Short Absences: Try leaving for just 5 minutes, maybe during a quiet afternoon. Tell them where you're going and that you'll be back soon. Incrementally increase the time away. (Note: This didn’t work at all with my second born...)
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Set Up a Routine: A goodbye routine can bring a sense of predictability. Say, "When I leave, I’ll give you your favorite blankie, then a kiss on the nose."
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Create a 'Return Ritual': When you get back, do something fun together. Maybe a quick dance in the kitchen or reading their favorite story. It helps them associate your return with something positive.
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Use a 'Lovey': A favorite toy can be comforting. Tell them their stuffed bear is going to 'watch over them' while you’re out. Mine liked a pillow I once got from IKEA, of all things.
An Example from Real Life
Before heading out, try this: "We're leaving in 5 minutes (I actually give them 6, toddlers are known for their delays). Do you want to walk to the door yourself or should I carry you?" When tears start, I’ve learned not to engage in lengthy explanations. It only amplifies the drama.
Small Step to Take Today
Start by practicing a short absence today — say, popping outside to check the mail. Let them know where you're going and make it quick.
This won’t solve everything, but (here’s a secret) it might just make it a little easier each time.