Bedtime can be a battleground when your little one insists on having only mom around. I know the frustration firsthand. Here's what worked for us:
Switch Up the Routine
Start by changing the nightly routine a bit. If you typically read stories in the kid's room, try doing it on the couch instead. Throw in a story from a book you haven't touched in weeks (we found our daughter suddenly enamored with a long-forgotten dinosaur pop-up book).
Clarify Roles Without Drama
Sometimes, clarity helps: 'Dad is doing storytime tonight, and I'll be here for a goodnight kiss.' Make sure both parents are on the same page. Switch roles every few nights to prevent the expectation that it's always mom.
Include a Comfort Item
If mom's absence is a source of anxiety, letting them hold onto something special can be comforting. A plush Spiderman or a soft blanket might do (we had a winning streak with a teddy bear that came from nowhere).
Why Does This Happen?
It’s often about comfort and habit more than anything sinister. Children feel secure with consistency, and if they’ve come to associate mom with bedtime, well, then that’s what they’ll ask for — because it’s worked before.
Offer Choices
Giving options can turn the control over to them while still getting what you want. 'Would you like Dad to read two books or three books tonight?' It sounds simple, but letting them choose makes them feel important and lessens their focus on who’s missing.
Scenario
Here's how it played out one night: My son looked up from his dinosaur book and said, 'I want mommy!' Instead of the usual debate, I told him calmly, 'You can have three songs tonight if Dad puts you to bed, or only one if you wait for mommy.' He mulled it over and settled on three songs. Crisis averted.
It Might Not Always Work
Those evenings when they don’t cooperate? No shame in a tactical retreat. Sometimes we just give in for sanity's sake (it's either that or risk waking the baby, after all). It's just about finding what works most of the time.
So tonight, try offering a choice instead of defaulting to a battle of wills. You might find it helps everyone get to bed a bit happier.