It Starts with a Plan
Ever had the "I want to stay up like the big kids!" debate whip through the air at precisely 7:45 p.m.? It’s about as charming as finding a crayon mural on your freshly painted walls. The trick is to head this off with a preemptive strike. Before bedtime even rolls around, create a clear and consistent plan that your child knows (and doesn’t like, but respects). Sure, they’ll test you — junior lawyer of the year — but knowing what’s coming can ease the whole ordeal.
Why Do They Do This?
Young kids idolize their older siblings. It’s part jealousy, part admiration. They see big kids enjoying activities they miss out on, like watching a documentary about insects (or maybe that’s just in our house). This desire to stay up becomes less about the actual bedtime and more about the perceived injustice of missing out.
Solutions That Worked
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Sticker Chart System: For some magical reason, children love stickers. Create a chart that rewards them for going to bed without a fuss. Five stickers earn a small prize — maybe chocolate milk for breakfast.
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Special Time: Spend 15 minutes with them after the older kids go to bed, doing something that feels special just for them (like reading their favorite “Fancy Nancy” book). Some days you might think, "Isn't bedtime supposed to be my downtime?" But it can be worth the peace.
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Clear Boundaries: Be upfront. Say, "It’s bedtime. I know it’s hard, but your body needs rest to grow big, strong muscles." Then, stick to it. When my youngest asked, "But, why?" that third or fourth time, I just repeated, "Your room needs you."
Example from Real Life
So, last Tuesday, we tried this: I told my little one straight after dinner, "Tonight, we'll read a story together before you go to bed, just us." Predictably, when the time came, they did say, "But I want to stay up!" Instead of debating, I said, "You can choose the longest story," which actually worked (for now).
So, Do This Tonight
Set a simple, achievable bedtime routine before your child starts negotiating. Stickers might drive you nuts, but if they work, well, you’ve traded sanity for stickers. Remember, this doesn’t fix everything — but it beats the crayon approach, at least for another day.