You finally get them bathed and ready for bed only to hear, "I'm not tired!" The good news? There are a few things you can try without needing to turn bedtime into a drawn-out negotiation or, worse, a standoff.
Why this happens
Children, especially the spirited 3- to 5-year-olds, often resist bedtime because they crave more autonomy or perhaps an extra dose of connection after a busy day. I confess that my second child was a master at dragging bedtime into a protracted affair simply to get a few more moments of my attention (or possibly another story).
Practical solutions
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Set a consistent routine: Kids thrive on predictability. Establish a simple routine — bath, book, bed — that becomes a comforting rhythm, not a surprise each night.
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Offer choices: Give them small choices to satisfy their need for control. "Do you want to hop like a bunny or march like a soldier to the bathroom?" This makes them feel involved without delaying the process.
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Calm environment: Lower the lights about 30 minutes before bedtime. Trust me, dimming the lights makes a difference even if your toddler claims to be a night owl. If only adjusting their penchant for messiness was this easy.
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Transitional object: If your child struggles with separation, a special stuffed toy or blanket can make bedtime less daunting. It worked wonders with my first child, though it had little effect on my second (no idea why).
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Consistent goodbye ritual: When leaving the room, keep it brief and loving. "Goodnight, sleep tight, I'll see you in the morning." Then, actually leave. No lingering.
Real scenario example
Take a typical evening in our house around 8:00 p.m. My 4-year-old would whisper conspiratorially, "Can we read an extra book tonight?" I learned to respond with, "Tonight's story time is special, would you like this book or that one?" This gave her the feeling of choice without extending story time indefinitely.
Ending with a small action
Start tonight by tweaking just one part of your bedtime routine. Perhaps you lower the lights or introduce a new ritual. You might find that the small change is enough to make bedtime a little more peaceful.