So, your child’s throwing toys (or books, or bananas) in a fury. Well, it happens. First up, make sure everyone stays safe. Move away any breakables (and maybe yourself) from the line of fire.
Children often throw things because they’re overwhelmed and trying to communicate a need, like feeling unheard or wanting control. Our job is to help them find safer ways to express those feelings. Here’s how:
1. Redirect with a New Task
When my kid picks up that toy, ready to launch it across the living room, I say, "Hey, can you show me how high you can jump instead?" It’s not foolproof, but it works more often than you’d think. Actually, scratch that, it works about half the time.
2. Verbalize and Validate
When objects start flying, say, "I see you’re really upset. Throwing isn’t safe." This acknowledges their feelings without permitting the action. I’ve found my four-year-old often calms down once I say this (or at least pauses).
3. Introduce a Safe Throwing Zone
Get a soft ball or a bean bag. When tempers rise, direct your child to their "throwing corner." It’s not punishment but a way to safely release energy. I set it up in our hallway, though it usually gets in the way when I’m rushing to answer the door.
4. Model Calm Behavior
It sounds clichéd, but lowering your voice when they’re losing it can dial things down. I bet dollars to donuts you won't feel calm every time, but pretending helps.
5. Routine and Rest
Sometimes kids act out because they’re tired or hungry. That doesn’t mean you should dole out snacks every time they throw a fit, but keeping meals and naps consistent can reduce incidents. Seriously, a slight shift in our lunch schedule once threw my whole day off.
A Real Moment
Yesterday, my kid was hurling blocks (Lego, why do you hurt so much?) because screen time was over. I said, "You're mad screen time is done. You can be mad and stay safe." Tough love, and it worked by the third or fourth time.
A Little Caveat
These tips are for typical kiddos. If throwing persists or disrupts daily life, chat with a pediatrician. Sometimes kids need extra help, like those with ADHD or sensory processing differences.
At the end of the day, there's no magic fix. Implement one change and see how it goes. If it doesn't work, try another angle. No shame here—I still mess this up sometimes.