Bedtime doesn’t have to be a battle

Let’s kick things off with a straight-up fix: create a cozy bedtime ritual. This might sound like a parenting cliché but bear with me. For around 20 minutes every evening, foster a routine. Maybe it’s dimming the lights and reading the same picture book on their dinosaur-covered sheets. The familiar pattern builds comfort, and comfort combats fear.

Why do they fear being alone?

The fear of being alone in a room often stems from a mix of overactive imaginations and separation anxiety. These little humans have a knack for turning a shadow into a monster (I still vividly remember my kid insisting there was a bear living in the closet at 3 a.m.). They're learning to manage these emotions, while we, well, kind of wing it alongside them.

Try these solutions

  1. A comforting object: Encourage your child to pick a 'brave' stuffed animal (preferably not the one with missing eyes that gives you the creeps). This becomes their room buddy to keep them company.

  2. Open dialogue: Talk to them about their day, and when it naturally leads there, their fears. A suggested opener: "What did you like most about today? Anything bugging you?"

  3. Use tech, but wisely: Introducing a nightlight—a simple one, not the kind that could double as a disco ball—can help them feel safe while keeping the room from becoming a carnival.

  4. Create a 'no scare zone': Let them know they can call on you if they truly need it. But—and here comes the self-correction—set boundaries. Perhaps visiting them no more than once or twice per night to reassure them.

  5. A little magic: Well, sort of. Play a bedtime sound on a smart speaker, something like ocean waves or gentle rain, to cloak the creaks and groans of the house settling.

Real-life application

Here's how it went down one evening: "Mom, I’m scared!" my youngest cried out as the clock approached 8 p.m. Instead of the usual dismissal, I said, "Would it help if Mr. Bunny stood guard by your bed?" It worked like a charm, at least until the next night. Then, it took a few different comforting objects (and some experimentation), but eventually, it stuck.

Not a perfect fix

This won't solve everything, of course. Some nights will still see their fair share of hallway pacing and door peeking. But making your child feel heard and providing them with tools to cope goes a long way. Who knows why the Mr. Bunny tactic works better some nights than others—it just does. I still mess this up sometimes, but that’s part of the parenting package.

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