Wrapping Up Playdates Sans Tears

You've just picked up your kid from a friend's house. Inevitably, the moment you say, "Time to go," the tears start flowing. Here's how we managed to keep that scene from becoming a regular event.

First, set the timer on your phone for a five-minute warning. Tell your child, "We're leaving in five minutes." This way they know playtime is winding down. When the timer goes off, give them a choice: "Do you want to put on your shoes by yourself or with me?" This small decision gives them a sense of control.

Now, why does this even happen? Kids get pretty caught up in the fun and the shift from playtime to leaving can be jarring. It's like asking an adult to stop watching a cliffhanger episode of their favorite series midway through. Understandable, right?

Specific Tactics That Actually Work

  1. Start Early: Begin prepping your kid about leaving as soon as you arrive. A simple, "We'll be heading home after snack time or just before the cartoons," can plant the seed in their mind.

  2. Bring a Favorite Toy: Sometimes having a familiar comfort item eases the transition. If they love their stuffed bunny, bring it along (I still bring my youngest's threadbare BunBun). When it's time to go, let your child hold the toy.

  3. Don't Feed the Drama: When the dreaded "I don't want to go!" erupts, acknowledge their feelings but keep it short. "I know you're having fun, but it’s time to head out." Don’t bargain or explain further.

  4. Change the Subject: Divert attention with something to look forward to, like planning a special snack or a small activity at home (one that doesn’t require much effort, like a coloring page).

A Real Example

Here’s a quick rundown of a Sunday afternoon: My five-year-old was playing at a friend’s place and I gave the familiar five-minute heads-up. As expected, there was a pout, but he perked up when I asked if he wanted to carry his shoes or wear them. Add a hint of "ice cream waiting at home," and he was at the door faster than I anticipated.

Do I still mess this up sometimes? Of course. I’m not a magician (or rather, I’m not THIS sort of magician). But these steps have reduced the drama significantly.

In the end, this might not work for every child or every playdate. Some days are tougher than others, which is all part of the package deal. But on those occasions it does work, it's a small victory worth celebrating.

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